ELECTION 2008

Updated October 22, 2008

"Look, John's last-minute economic plan does nothing to tackle the number-one job facing the middle class, and it happens to be, as Barack says, a three-letter word: jobs. J-O-B-S, jobs."

Mark my words. It will not be six months before the world tests Barack Obama like they did John Kennedy. The world is looking. We're about to elect a brilliant 47-year old senator president of the United States of America. Remember I said it standing here if you don't remember anything else I said. Watch, we're gonna have an international crisis, a generated crisis, to test the mettle of this guy. And he's gonna have to make some really tough - I don't know what the decision's gonna be, but I promise you it will occur. As a student of history and having served with seven presidents, I guarantee you it's gonna happen. I can give you at least four or five scenarios from where it might originate. And he's gonna need help. And the kind of help he's gonna need is, he's gonna need you, not financially to help him, we're gonna need you to use your influence, your influence within the community, to stand with him.

"We want to take money and put it back in the pocket of middle-class people. It's time to be patriotic … time to jump in, time to be part of the deal, time to help get America out of the rut."

--JOE BIDEN

"[I]f we're trying to win in Florida, it may be that -- you know, they think that because of who I am and where my politic base has traditionally been, they may want me to go sort of hustle up what Lawton Chiles used to call the cracker vote there."

--BILL CLINTON

"See, Barack been, um, talking down to black people on this faith based... I wanna cut his n-ts off."

--JESSE JACKSON

"It's not that I want to punish your success. I just want to make sure that everybody who is behind you, that they've got a chance for success too. My attitude is that if the economy's good for folks from the bottom up, it's gonna be good for everybody ... I think when you spread the wealth around, it's good for everybody."

"I need you to go out and talk to your friends and talk to your neighbors. I want you to talk to them whether they are independent or whether they are Republican. I want you to argue with them and get in their face."

"We could save all the oil that they're talking about getting off drilling if everybody was just inflating their tires and getting regular tune-ups. You could save just as much."

"Will we acknowledge — will we acknowledge that there is no more powerful example than the one each of our nations projects to the world? Will we reject torture and stand for the rule of law?

"The objective of this trip was to have substantive discussions with people like President Karzai or Prime Minister Maliki or President Sarkozy or others who I expect to be dealing with over the next eight to ten years."

(Note to Obama: A U.S. president can be elected to two 4-year terms.)

"You need to make sure your child can speak Spanish. You should be thinking about how can your child become bilingual. We should have every child speaking more than one language."

"We know what kind of campaign they're going to run. They're going to try to make you afraid. They're going to try to make you afraid of me. He's young and inexperienced and he's got a funny name. And did I mention he's black? He's got a feisty wife."

"I mean, think about it: Iran, Cuba, Venezuela-- These countries are tiny compared to the Soviet Union. They don't pose a serious threat to us."

"Well, I think actually Justice Breyer, Justice Ginsburg are very sensible judges. I think that Justice Souter, who was a Republican appointee is a sensible judge. What you're looking for is somebody who is going to buy the law where it's clear."

"You go into some of these small towns in Pennsylvania, and like a lot of small towns in the Midwest, the jobs have been gone now for 25 years and nothing's replaced them. And they fell through the Clinton administration, and the Bush administration, and each successive administration has said that somehow these communities are gonna regenerate and they have not. So it's not surprising then that they get bitter, they cling to guns or religion or antipathy to people who aren't like them or anti-immigrant sentiment or anti-trade sentiment as a way to explain their frustrations."

"The point I was making was not that my grandmother harbors any racial animosity. She doesn't. But she is a typical white person who, if she sees somebody on the street that she doesn't know, there's a reaction that's been bred into our experiences that don't go away, and that sometimes come out in the wrong way, and that's just the nature of race in our society."

"I can no more disown [Rev. Wright] than I can my white grandmother – a woman who helped raise me, a woman who sacrificed again and again for me, a woman who loves me as much as she loves anything in this world, but a woman who once confessed her fear of black men who passed by her on the street, and who on more than one occasion has uttered racial or ethnic stereotypes that made me cringe."

"I've got to give a special shout out to my pastor. The guy who puts up with me, counsels me, listens to my wife complain about me. He's a friend and a great leader."

"Tony Rezko was a friend and supporter of mine for many years. These charges are completely unrelated to me, and nobody disputes that. There's no dispute that he raised money for us, and there's no dispute that we've tried to get rid of it."

"You know, I've heard from an Army captain who was the head of a rifle platoon -- supposed to have 39 men in a rifle platoon. Ended up being sent to Afghanistan with 24 because 15 of those soldiers had been sent to Iraq. And as a consequence, they didn't have enough ammunition, they didn't have enough humvees. They were actually capturing Taliban weapons, because it was easier to get Taliban weapons than it was for them to get properly equipped by our current commander in chief."

"I have to say that, you know, I would have to, you know, investigate more of Bill's dancing abilities. You know, and some of this other stuff before I accurately judge whether he was in fact a brother."

"We've had enough of mounting costs in Iraq and missed opportunities around the world. Weve had enough of a war that should never have been authorized and should never have been waged."

"We've got to get the job done there (Afghanistan). And that requires us to have enough troops so that we're not just air-raiding villages and killing civilians, which is causing enormous problems there."

"I think it would be a profound mistake for us to use nuclear weapons in any circumstance...involving civilians. Let me scratch that. There's been no discussion of nuclear weapons. That's not on the table."

"Let me make this clear. There are terrorists holed up in those mountains who murdered 3,000 Americans. They are plotting to strike again. It was a terrible mistake to fail to act when we had a chance to take out an al-Qaida leadership meeting in 2005. If we have actionable intelligence about high-value terrorist targets and President Musharraf won't act, we will."

"Somehow, somewhere along the way, faith stopped being used to bring us together and started being used to drive us apart. It got hijacked... Part of it's because of the so-called leaders of the Christian Right, who've been all too eager to exploit what divides us... At every opportunity, they've told evangelical Christians that Democrats disrespect their values and dislike their church..."

"Those 'quiet riots' that take place every day are born from the same place as the fires and the destruction and the police decked out in riot gear and the deaths. They happen when a sense of disconnect settles in and hope dissipates. Despair takes hold and young people all across this country look at the way the world is and believe that things are never going to get any better."

"The day that this president steps down, the entire world will breath a sigh of relief."

"In case you missed it, this week, there was a tragedy in Kansas. Ten thousand people died -- an entire town destroyed."

"There will be speculation as to what caused this young man [Seung-Hui Cho] to snap … There's also another kind of violence though that we're gonna have to think about… Last week, the big news, obviously, had to do with Imus and the verbal violence that was directed at young women who were role models for all of us."

"I know if cousin Pookie would vote, if brother Jethro would get off the couch and stop watching Sports- Center and go register some folks and go to the polls, we'd have a different kind of politics. Kick off your bedroom slippers, put on your marching shoes!"

"Nobody is suffering more than the Palestinian people."

"We ended up launching a war that should have never been authorized, and should have never been waged, and to which we now have spent $400 billion and have seen over 3,000 lives of the bravest young Americans wasted."

"Pot had helped, and booze; maybe a little blow when you could afford it."

--BARACK OBAMA

"You're looking at a young couple that’s just a few years out of debt. See, because, we went to those good schools, and we didn't have trust funds. I'm still waiting for Barack's trust fund. Especially after I heard that Dick Cheney was s'posed to be a relative or something. Give us something here!"

"And let me tell you something -- for the first time in my adult lifetime, I am really proud of my country. And not just because Barack has done well, but because I think people are hungry for change. And I have been desperate to see our country moving in that direction and just not feeling so alone in my frustration and disappointment."

"There's always that doubt in the back of the minds of people of color, people who've been oppressed and haven't been given real opportunities. You believe that somehow, someone is better than you. You know, deep down inside, you doubt whether you can do it because that's all you've been told is, 'No. Wait.' That's the psychology that's going on in our heads, in our souls. We have to move beyond it, not just for Barack and this presidency, but for the future of our community."

--MICHELLE OBAMA

"I also believe that America is the greatest sin against God."

--FR. MICHAEL PFLEGER

"The Italians for the most part looked down their garlic noses at the Galileans."

"The government gives them the drugs, builds bigger prisons, passes a three-strike law and then wants us to sing 'God Bless America.' No, no, no, God damn America, that's in the Bible, for killing innocent people ... God damn America for treating our citizens as less than human. God damn America for as long as she acts like she is God and she is supreme."

"We bombed Hiroshima, we bombed Nagasaki, and we nuked far more than the thousands in New York and the Pentagon, and we never batted an eye. We have supported state terrorism against the Palestinians and black South Africans, and now we are indignant because the stuff we have done overseas is now brought right back to our own front yards. America's chickens are coming home to roost."

--REV. JEREMIAH A. WRIGHT, JR.

"In so many ways, this all-women's college prepared me to compete in the all boys' club of presidential politics."

"Oh [Bill's] so romantic. He's always bringing me back things from his trips. I had dental surgery, and he said [a Chanel watch with a bracelet made of white cubes] reminded him of teeth."

"I have a million ideas. The country can't afford them all."

"We are certainly better prepared and more focused on, you know, taking our arguments, and making them effective, and disseminating them widely, and really putting together a network, uh, in the blogosphere, in a lot of the new progressive infrastructure, institutions that I helped to start and support like Media Matters and Center for American Progress."

"For 15 years, I've stood up against the right-wing machine. If you want a winner who knows how to take them on, I'm your girl."

"I think America is ready for a multilingual president."

"I come here this morning as a sister in worship.... I don't feel no ways tired."

"Well, I said I would not tear up; already we're not exactly on the path."

"I remember landing under sniper fire. There was supposed to be some kind of a greeting ceremony at the airport, but instead we just ran with our heads down to get into the vehicles to get to our base."

"I know you're going to inspect me. You can look inside my mouth if you want."

"Despite what I view is your (Gen. Petraeus) rather extraordinary efforts in your testimony both yesterday and today. I think that the reports that you provide to us really require a willing suspension of disbelief."

"Now it's time to say the redeployment should start in 90 days or the Congress will revoke authorization for this war."

"I want to take those [Exxon] profits and put them into an alternative energy fund that will begin to fund alternative smart energy alternatives that will actually begin to move us toward the direction of independence."

--HILLARY CLINTON

"I think the mistake that I made is to think that I was a spouse like any other spouse who could defend his candidate. I think I can promote Hillary but not defend her because I was president."

"As far as I can tell, neither Senator Obama nor Hillary have lost votes because of their race or gender. They are getting votes, to be sure, because of their race or gender—that's why people tell me Hillary doesn't have a chance of winning here (South Carolina)."

--BILL CLINTON

"If Obama was a white man, he would not be in this position. And if he was a woman (of any color) he would not be in this position. He happens to be very lucky to be who he is. And the country is caught up in the concept." (Note to Ferraro: Is Hillary very lucky to be who she is?)

--GERALDINE FERRARO

"If [Hillary] gave [Obama] one of her cojones, they'd both have two."

--JAMES CARVILLE

"I have no doubt that Senator Clinton would make a good president."

--JOHN McCAIN

"Don't Mormons believe that Jesus and the devil are brothers?"

"Dishonest? I've never seen John McCain say something that is just blatantly untrue. We have a civil approach to presidential process. Neither of us has sought the office by cracking the kneecaps of the other...

"There are published reports that I've seen in which Mitt Romney did in fact talk about support for – not a public timetable – but a secret timetable that would be held by administration officials and members of Congress."

"We ought to declare that we will be free of energy consumption in this country within a decade."

"Well, I think Fred needs some Metamucil. I think it would help a lot if he gets some. You know, he was in a bad mood last night."

--MIKE HUCKABEE

"[Mike Huckabee's ad] reminds me of what Sinclair Lewis once said. He says, 'When fascism comes to this country it will be wrapped in the flag, carrying a cross.' I don't know whether that's a fair assessment or not, but you wonder about using a cross like he is the only Christian or implying that subtly."

"Timothy McVeigh was a terrorist. Did we declare war after that?"

"I'm suggesting that we listen to the people who attacked us and the reason they did it. They don't come here to attack us because we're rich and we're free. They come and they attack us because we're over there."

--RON PAUL

"In all of this, Vice-President Richard B. Cheney has acted in a manner contrary to his trust as vice-president and subversive of constitutional government, to the prejudice of the cause of law and justice and the manifest injury of the people of the United States. Wherefore Richard B. Cheney, by such conduct, warrants impeachment and trial and removal from office."

"I seriously believe we have to start asking questions about [Bush's] mental health... You cannot be a president of the United States who's wanton in his expression of violence. There's a lot of people who need care. He might be one of them. If there isn't something wrong with him, then there's something wrong with us. This, to me, is a very serious question."

"The effort against Iraq was dishonest, or crooked, from the beginning, and nothing good can come from it, except: The international community is needed to become involved to put together a peace-keeping and security force that can move in as the U.S. determines that it must end the occupation, close the bases, bring the troops home. That's the direction we must take. But we have to understand that the policy was based on a lie."

"I feel the United States is engaging in an illegal occupation ... I don't want to bless that occupation with my presence." (Explaining why he won't visit Iraq)

--DENNIS KUCINICH

"[W]e just had this, this international crisis in Pakistan that is still ongoing. And my response to that was to speak directly to President Musharraf, to urge him to do a series of things that would move the country toward democracy, that would allow international inspectors into the country and to proceed with the elections in an open, fair, verifiable and secure way. And I believe was a calming influence in a very volatile situation. So I think if you watch what I've actually done and what my behavior is that I'm ready for the presidency."

"[P]retty soon we’re not going to have a young African-American male population in America. They’re all going to be in prison or dead. One of the two."

"If you are going to be in the system, you can't choose not to go to the doctor for 20 years. You have to go in and be checked and make sure that you are OK."

"We know these people. We know their game plan. They're going to attack us personally. They attacked Elizabeth personally, because she stood up to that she-devil Ann Coulter. … I should not have name-called. But the truth is -- forget the names -- people like Ann Coulter, they engage in hateful language."

"What Giuliani is, is George Bush on steroids. Giuliani, Romney and the rest of the Republicans running for the nomination are going to give the country four more years of crony capitalism, which is exactly what we have now. We have insurance companies and drug companies and oil companies running this government. They need to be stopped. And Giuliani just wants to empower them."

"They want to shut me up. That's what this is about. 'Let's distract from people who don't have health care coverage. Let's distract from people who can't feed their children.... Let's talk about this silly frivolous nothing stuff so that America won't pay attention.'

"They will never silence me. Never.

"If we don't stand up to these people, if we don't fight em, if we don't beat them, they're going to continue to control this country. Thye're going to control the media. They're going to control what's being said."

"I think that Jesus would be disappointed in our ignoring the plight of those around us who are suffering and our focus on our own selfish short-term needs. I think he would be appalled, actually."

"I think the Congress should use its authority, its funding authority to bring down the troop level an initial 40- to 50,000 out of Iraq, and continue to use that authority to redeploy troops out of Iraq over the next year or so."

"Perhaps the greatest short-term threat to world peace was the possibility that Israel would bomb Iran's nuclear facilities." (Note: In spite of denials from Edwards' campaign, Variety columnist Peter Bart stands by the report.)

"It's not how I talk to people, and it's not how I expect the people who work for me to talk to people. But I also believe in giving everyone a fair shake. I've talked to Amanda and Melissa; they have both assured me that it was never their intention to malign anyone's faith, and I take them at their word." (Note: Edwards' displays his incredibly poor judgment.)

"Yes, we'll have to raise taxes [to provide health care]." (Note: This is known as a Walter Mondale moment.)

--JOHN EDWARDS

"We can't make John black, we can't make him a woman. Those things get you a lot of press, worth a certain amount of fundraising dollars."

"I live in North Carolina. I'll probably never eat a tangerine again."

--ELIZABETH EDWARDS

"This guy (Bush)is brain dead."

"Mr. President I have a message for you: the only thing that is emboldening the enemy is your failed policy."

On Barack Obama: "I mean, you got the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy. I mean, that's a storybook, man."

--JOE BIDEN

"I mean, that's what this election is all about. Returning to our principles, standing against terrorists like Musharraf, getting our troops out of Iraq, being energy-independent, big, bold ideas."

"Iowa, for good reason, for constitutional reasons, for reasons related to the Lord, should be the first caucus and primary."

--BILL RICHARDSON